Anger Doesn’t Make for a Good Friend
In the Scriptures, God delights to teach his people wisdom. And one of the insightful pieces of instruction he gives to us can be found in Proverbs 22:24-25. He urges us, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
In this short section of Scripture, God helps us to better understand how the world works – how human nature operates. And he gives practical commands, so that we’ll understand how to best live in light of how we function within God’s created order.
You Become Like Those You Befriend
In this text, specifically, God lets us know that human beings have a tendency to become like the people they spend time with. The Scriptures acknowledge this natural vulnerability in other places as well (Proverbs 24:1, 21; 1 Corinthians 15:33). If this weren’t the case, then spending time with people of bad character and bad conduct wouldn’t be problematic for us. But in our humanness, our susceptibility makes it necessary for God to warn us, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger…” And God’s reasoning is that if we don’t take this precaution, we will likely learn the ways of anger, and become entangled or entrapped by it.
A Particular Danger from Anger
And from this statement, we can see that God doesn’t find it desirable for his people to be regularly characterized by anger. This isn’t to say that anger itself is a wrong emotion in every occasion. There are select situations where anger is appropriate. And we can affirm this confidently because our Lord Jesus Christ clearly expressed righteous anger on multiple occasions (Mark 3:5, John 2:13-17). And yet his anger was only ever aroused by hard-heartedness and irreverence toward God the Father. His anger wasn’t provoked by people’s unkindness to him. Jesus was not quick-tempered. He was not regularly swung about in outrage by the current events of his day. Instead, in Jesus’s earthly ministry, he reflected the heart of His Father, as one who is “slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” (cf. Exodus 34:6).
So for you and I, God’s word of wisdom for us is to be careful who we spend time with. Because if we become close acquaintances with people who are irritable, angry, and easily offended, we should expect that we will begin to resemble them. The reason for this isn’t because people are victims of their environment, who have no choice but to succumb to the personalities of their peers. Instead, the main issue is the sin-infected condition of the human heart (Jeremiah 17:9). The innate corruption of human hearts predisposes us toward sympathizing with ungodly anger, and becoming influenced by it.
Seek Good Company
And this is why we need to consider carefully who we keep company with. Because the warning in this Proverb not only applies to the people who we physically surround ourselves with. But in a technological age, the personalities and voices that we befriend virtually will exert real influence over our hearts, as well. If our trusted companions are podcasts and social media posts where people cut themselves loose to rage against the evils of the day, you will likely develop into a similarly impatient, inconsiderate, angry person just like them. You won’t be led by such “friends” toward the wisdom of God. But instead, you will be led into foolishness and sin.
In light of all this, then, don’t imagine that you’re immune. Consider carefully the character of those that you choose as your most intimate friends. And recognize that those who are wise will make it their priority to be often in the presence of God, regular in prayer, and diligent in hearing as He speaks from the Scriptures. The wise man’s most trusted counselor and companion will be His God. And his inner circle of influences will be brothers and sisters in the faith who seek the Lord with a pure heart. So let’s be on guard against the contagion of anger, and let’s walk together in the ways of divine wisdom.
