Who’s in Control Here?
Outward appearances can be deceiving. You would ordinarily assume that the person who desires pleasure the most would be the happiest. Or that the person who desires success the most would work the hardest. Or the one who desires control the most would be the best at exerting control.
But ironically, the person who desires control the most is often the person who is least capable of exercising control. I’m fully aware that the person who wants control – he might be very effective at dominating arguments, or coaching a sports team by intimidation, or threatening children into submission. Even whole countries are sometimes governed by people with this dictatorial approach to control. And yet the fascinating thing is that many of these people show little or no ability to control themselves.
Why People Are Out of Control
In fact, this lack of self-control may help to explain why these people desire to control other people in the first place. If there is no sense of finding stability or control over his own self, such a person may try to compensate by asserting control over other people. By being the master of something, it can help a man to momentarily forget how poor of a master he is over himself.
But it also makes logical sense that many men who lack self-restraint would become controlling and demanding in their temperament. And this is because a man who lacks self-awareness in his thinking, and who’s unable to subdue the uprisings of his emotions – he will inevitably be unreflective and spontaneous in his actions. When life challenges come, he will be overcome by his most beastly instincts or impulses – whichever of them have the strongest stranglehold over his heart.
And so it is, the people who seem most hungry for power, and most ambitious for control – they are often the men who are least qualified to wield it. If a man is foolishly convinced that he must seize the crown to attain to happiness – if he has believed the lie that the only meaningful life is one of ruling over others – then he will constantly feel threatened and insecure when something or someone comes along to question his authority. He won’t find happiness. He won’t find rest. He won’t be clothed in royal splendor. But he’ll find hopelessness, and rage, and crippling anxiety in their place.
Finding a Solution
The solution to all this is to rightly acknowledge that you, and I, and the people around us – we weren’t made for ultimate authority. All control and dominion isn’t intended for us. But we were made to exercise “sub-authority” under the supreme authority of the Being who created us. We find rest for our souls, not by subjugating everyone under our feet, but by submitting ourselves to our Father in heaven. And we gain true control – self-control – not by relying on our own tactics and force, but by seeking transformation by faith. Through faith in Christ, God gives us a new Spirit, so that we’re no longer controlled by a lust for power, but are instead re-created to live for God.
The man who refuses to turn to God will forever be a slave to his animal instincts, his sexual drives, his appetites, his anger, his fear. But the man who makes God alone his master, will be made the master over his emotions, his thoughts, his affections – and more than this, such a man will be trustworthy to rule over a family, and to have oversight in a church, and to govern well as an elected official. Such a man will even be counted as capable of judging angels (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:3).
Letting the love of God control you is good news, that brings greater satisfaction then anything else we could attempt to seize for ourselves. So set aside your power-hungriness, and seek instead the One who has all power. Dismiss your anxious demands for control, and trust in the security that God provides for all His people.