The Fruit of the Spirit: What Is Gentleness?

The Fruit of the Spirit

This afternoon we’ll continue looking at the character traits that the Spirit of God produces in people of faith – which the Bible refers to as the fruit of the Spirit. We’ve been in a sermon series, working through a list of these things, that are mentioned in Galatians 5, and we’ll be considering together the second-to-last fruit that’s listed there – the fruit of gentleness. So if you haven’t already, please turn in your Bible with me to Galatians 5, and I’ll once again read from verses 22 and 23. [If you’re using one of our church Bibles, you can find our text on page .] But before I read from Galatians 5, let’s ask that God would make our time together spiritually profitable:

[Pray and Read Text]

Heroic Gentleness?

If you were asked to come up with a list of words to describe the ideal hero, what would be on your list? If you’re anything like me, probably you’d choose words like strong, brave, and smart. You might even include words like good, kind, and faithful. But I imagine that for many of us, the word gentle wouldn’t make it on to our list. I think that for many Americans, the word gentleness sounds too much like wimpy-ness or weakness. But the Bible challenges that way of thinking. Because the greatest being in the Universe, the hero of heroes, is God himself. And the presence of the Spirit of God is marked by this character trait – this thing called gentleness.

So our goal tonight will be to better understand and apply what the Bible teaches about this fruit of the Spirit. And there are three main questions I intend to answer, to help us along in that direction. First, What is gentleness? Second, why should we be gentle? And third, when should we be gentle?

What Is Gentleness?

So first, what is gentleness? When the Holy Spirit is at work in the life of a Christian, what sort of product is it that we should expect to see produced?

The gentleness referred to in Galatians 5 is a kind, charitable, emotionally-controlled disposition of the soul – a form of mild-manneredness that’s rooted in humility, and that’s expressed in respect and courtesy toward other people.

I imagine that most people probably wouldn’t guess that gentleness, by definition, is rooted in humility. But in the Bible, these two things are inseparably associated with each other. In fact, the Greek root word that’s translated as gentleness in our text is so closely associated with having a humble posture, that it’s sometimes translated in other parts of the Bible as meekness or humility. In the Greek translation of the Old Testament, when Moses is described as meek in Numbers 12:3, it’s the same root word that’s translated as gentleness in Galatians 5. Similarly, when Psalm 149, verse 4, says that the LORD “adorns the humble with salvation,” the humble ones there are literally the gentle ones. (Again, it’s the same word as the word for gentleness in Galatians 5.) There is an unbreakable association between gentleness and humility. Those who are gentle will use their strength to promote and advance other people rather than themselves. They’ll be aiming to minimize injury in relationships, and to maximize growth and healing. They will listen well, because they truly care to listen. Gentleness is rooted in humility.

And it’s important to understand this, because there are different forms of mild-manneredness that aren’t rooted in humility, but are rooted in something else. For example, there’s a type of mild-manneredness that’s rooted in fear, where people are quiet and polite because they’re afraid of making people upset. Other people may have an easy-going demeanor that comes from being complacent. They take the path of least resistance, relationally, because they’re too lazy to do anything else. It’s even possible for some people to be mild-mannered because they find that it’s useful for manipulating and taking advantage of other people. But none of these things are the gentleness that the Bible’s talking about. If we don’t have humility – if we aren’t willing to acknowledge our lowness and to make ourselves low for the good of others – we will not produce the gentleness spoken about in Galatians 5.

And there’s a specific way, that gentleness rooted in humility, will express itself – with courteous, charitable forms of interaction with other people. In Ephesians 4, verse 2, Christians are urged to walk the right Christian walk “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” The gentle person will treat fellow Christians with patience. He’ll strive to love his brothers and sisters, even if they have different personalities and preferences. And he’ll aim to maintain unity in the Spirit, rather than to maximize secondary points of disagreement. Similarly, Titus 3:2 urges Christians “to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.” And it’s clear from this that gentleness is intended to be expressed to people outside the church – with respect and charitableness.

On the flip side, the gentle person won’t be given to angry emotional outbursts. He won’t have a reputation for mocking people, for getting caught up in arguments, or for spewing out profanities and words of outrage on social media. As 1 Timothy 3:3 points out, the godly man won’t be marked by violence or aggression. He won’t be defiant, defensive, and domineering. A man who’s walking in the Spirit won’t revel in insults and insensitivity. And he won’t imagine that it’s a virtue to be belligerent and overly blunt.

Instead, we’re supposed to understand that gentleness is a mild-manneredness, rooted in humility, and expressed in respect and courtesy toward others.

Why Should We Be Gentle?

But now that we’ve defined what gentleness is, it’s worth asking – why should we want it? This brings us to my second main question – why should we be gentle? What reasons does the Bible give for why gentleness is worth pursuing?

First, we should want to be like God, and to reflect his glory. And God is gentle. The King of the Universe, who forges stars, and who commands uncountable legions of angelic beings – this divine Son of God, Jesus Christ, is the one who said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Our Lord and our Maker is gentle. So in the same way that a little boy admires the height of an NBA basketball player, we should admire the stature of God’s gentleness and desire to grow up into it.

Second, we should want to be gentle because God has indicated that there’s a great reward associated with it. In Matthew 5:5, Jesus says, “Blessed are the meek” – or blessed are the gentle – it’s the same root word as we have in Galatians 5. “Blessed are the meek” – why? “for they shall inherit the earth.” Jesus is promising here that the gentle will receive the earth as their inheritance. It’s an incredible promise – and it flies in the face of how the world thinks and operates. Because most people would say, “Blessed are the rich and powerful, for they shall control the earth.” Or “blessed are the political revolutionaries, or the influential journalists, or the university educators, for they shall change the earth.” Instead, Jesus says, “blessed are the meek – the gentle – because they’re the ones who will inherit the earth.” It’s right that this promise catch our attention and motivate us.

But there’s a third reason why we should want to be gentle – and that’s because God himself has provided the means for us to do so. We should want to take hold of gentleness because we now can. In our human fallenness – since our thoughts, desires, and actions have all been darkened and distorted by sin – we have no ability to produce goodness or godliness in ourselves. But God sent his son to purify us, and he poured out his Holy Spirit to dwell in us. And by the Spirit’s power, working through the Word of God and prayer, God transforms us and empowers us to change – to put away our old, wrong ways of living, and to put on true integrity and virtue in its place. So we should eagerly pursue the gift of godliness – we should want to pursue gentleness – because we can.

But there’s one more reason I’d like to mention, why we should want to be gentle. And this is because God, in Christ, has been gentle with us – unbelievably gentle. Just consider the intensity of God’s strength – how just by speaking a word, he can create universes and crush civilizations. And yet the Almighty God who can break mountains has bent down to heal Creatures of dust. He could have smushed us. But instead he willingly lowered himself, to show us vast kindness and courtesy – forgiving us and restoring us. As recipients of God’s gentleness, then, is it right that we’d engage with people in ways that are harsh, inflammatory, and scornful. Is this how God acted toward you? Is this what life in His Spirit looks like? If we’re daily setting our hearts on the Christian good news, we will want to be gentle.

When Should We Be Gentle?

But there’s one more question that I’d like to raise. And that’s the question of when should we be gentle? Let’s look at a few specific instances that the Bible mentions.

First, we should be gentle when we’re dealing with a brother or sister who has been caught in sin. We see this in Galatians 6, verse 1: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.”

The instruction here is pretty simple. If someone in the church sins, you should aim to make sure he’s restored to God and to people in the church with a spirit of gentleness. And yet in real life, this is usually a really difficult command to live by. Because many times, when it comes out that someone has committed some sort of egregious or ongoing sin, it creates distrust, anger, and emotional pain. Sometimes when people in the church have been sinned against, they get so emotionally worked up that they can’t think clearly – and all that they want in the moment is for the sinner to suffer – for the sinner to get what he deserves. Instead of aiming toward restoration, sometimes people aim for retribution.

But this is where every Bible-believing church needs to stand firm, with the quiet strength of gentleness. Yes, your brother or sister in Christ should have known better. Yes, the pain you’re feeling is real. But when someone sins against you – when you’re hurt – when you are wronged – God’s Word doesn’t say to cut that person out of your life, or to get revenge, or to speak blistering, ugly words to the sinner. Paying back evil with evil won’t bring good. Two lefts don’t make a right. Instead, we need to show the sinner the same real grace that God has shown to us. And we do this by restoring him in a spirit of gentleness.

God’s Word also explains that we should be gentle when we’re giving a defense of our faith. 1 Peter 3:15 says, “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect…”

Again, the instruction here seems quite simple. When someone asks us about our faith, we should explain the reason for the hope we have with gentleness and respect. But in real life, we often make one of two mistakes. On the one hand, when questions about the Christian faith come up, we might speak in a way that suggests that we think we’re smarter than other people, and that atheists, Muslims, or whoever don’t have their head screwed on right. We might do a poor job listening, or we might have a habit of turning what started as a friendly conversation into a heated argument. But on the other hand, I imagine that a number of us shy away from conversations like this. When opportunities come up to talk about church, or how you spent your weekend, or what’s been going on in your life recently – we often don’t take hold of these opportunities to speak about the hope we have in Christ, because we want to avoid conflict, or uncomfortable situations. But regardless of struggle you might have, you and I need to understand that God wants us to make use of these opportunities. And as we speak, we’re encouraged to speak true words, yes – but more than that God is giving us an opportunity to show true virtue, in our gentleness and respect. Our goal isn’t just to speak true things, without mild-manneredness. And our goal isn’t just to be mild-mannered without speaking. But God asks us to speak with gentleness and respect.

The Bible describes a third specific situation when we should be gentle, in 2 Timothy 2. Verse 23 gives the command, “Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth…”

So you’ll see, here, that the Lord’s servants are told to correct their opponents with a gentle, respectful spirit. His posture shouldn’t be harsh, crude, or combative. His manner of correcting opponents shouldn’t be determined by pragmatism – what seems to work the best, or what gets the most reactions on Twitter, or what’s most effective for ruining the reputation of his rival – that’s not what God has for us here. And you have to understand, the people who were opposing Timothy at that time probably included flaming heretics and militant Jews. But even then, Timothy wasn’t given a green light here to fire the cannons at will. Instead, we have a divine mandate, that the Lord’s servant must correct his opponents with gentleness that’s rooted in humility and expressed in courtesy and charitableness. “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.”

Now, I’ve walked through three specific instances where the Bible specifically emphasizes the need for us to be gentle. And these three reminders are important – because these are some of the situations where it’d be most tempting for us to throw gentleness out the window. But it’s important to remember that the gentleness, in general, is intended to be one of those things that characterizes the life of a Christian, in all types of circumstances. When we’re speaking to and disciplining disobedient children, when we’re speaking to a dissatisfied customer or client at work, when we’re disagreeing about something with our spouses, when we’re hungry, when we’re tired, when finances are tight, when traffic won’t move – God intends for his people to be characterized by gentleness and meekness, in the entirety of how they live. This is the new manner of life that Christians are told to put on in Colossians 3:12: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness (the same word that’s translated gentleness in Galatians 5), and patience…”

It’s probably necessary to clarify here, being gentle doesn’t mean that Christians need to take a vow of absolute non-aggression. Christians can still fight to defend themselves, and they can enlist in the military to protect their families and their homeland from enemies. But even in battle, the spiritual fruit of gentleness will still cause Christian soldiers to be humble and humane in the way that they fight. They won’t be cruel to prisoners of war. They won’t aim to kill their enemies in the most torturous, painful way possible. They won’t be driven by a spirit of bloodlust, but by the Holy Spirit of gentleness.

Frankly, though, there will be times when it’s difficult to discern what gentleness is supposed to look like, in a given situation. In some situations, we may have responsibilities, judicially or relationally, to be stern, and direct, and uncompromising. There may be situations where being mild-mannered is inappropriate. But even in those situations, our words, attitudes, and actions should be humble and respectful. And as we call out to God, to ask him for wisdom on how we should conduct ourselves – James 3:17 reminds us that the “wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere…” In the eyes of the world, being gentle may look like foolishness. But the Bible confirms that gentleness is a necessary ingredient of true wisdom. So let’s ask that God would grant us greater fruitfulness, as we humble ourselves before Him in the week ahead. Please pray with me: