The Happiest People on Earth?

In some of our early years together, my wife Taylor and I spent some time overseas. And on a couple different occasions, we had the opportunity to enjoy some of the stereotypes people have about America. People living in other countries often imagine that every American is rich, they all look like supermodels – that everyone drives new cars, and carries a gun. And from what they see on TV – because you have to understand, that’s 99% of what they have to go by – whenever they watch Americans on TV, it seems like Americans have all kinds of free time to run around and do whatever they want. They know themselves, that they from time to time have an aching heart. But in their minds, Americans appear to be the happiest people on earth.

And even though we don’t think of America with exactly the same stereotypes, it can be easy for us to jump to conclusions about what life must be like for the people around us. Whether it’s neighbors who physically live down the street, or whether we’re just looking at pictures of Hollywood mansions owned by millionaires and celebrities – we can begin to think these must be the happiest people on earth! When we see updates about them on Facebook, or hear about what they’re doing from any other source, it can sometimes seem like the lives of other people are just one big, round yellow smiley face.

We might react with discontentment. We might feel provoked to jealousy. We might begin to imagine that we can’t be happy unless we have what they have, or until we can do what they’re doing. But our text for this evening, in the book of Proverbs – it urges us to reflect, and to realize that earthly laughter and pleasure may not be everything that it’s chalked up to be.

So if you have a Bible nearby, please turn with me to Proverbs, Chapter 14. I’ll be reading verse 13 tonight. Proverbs, Chapter 14, verse 13. But before I read our text, please pray with me:

[Pray and Read Text]

Not All Joy Is the Same

Here in the book of Proverbs, the wisdom of God has been distilled for us. And it’s incredible how profound ideas have been distilled here in simple little statements that are two lines long.

God is teaching us here about laughter, and joy, and happiness. And we need to keep in mind, there’s no one more qualified to speak on the topic. Nobody knows more about real, substantial pleasure than God. He’s the one who has single-handedly invented the concept of human happiness. He’s the one who made us, and our bodies, to enjoy and experience all forms of pleasantness. He gave us tastebuds to enjoy flavors. He gave us brains and ears to appreciate good music. He gave us eyes to marvel over starry nights and sunrises over the ocean. He’s the Master and designer and producer of everything wonderful. And if you’re saved from your sin, and brought near to God through faith in Jesus, you’ll be able to see, more and more, that God himself is the most glorious and happiness-inducing being in existence. God knows what real joy is.

But one of the most striking things that we see in this Proverb is that not all forms of joy are the same. All joy isn’t equally deep. All joy isn’t equally enduring. So as we reflect on God’s wisdom tonight, I want to unpack the text under three points. First, Laughter Can Conceal Aching Hearts. Second, Laughter Can Create Aching Hearts. And third The Lord alone can Comfort Aching Hearts.

Laughter Can Conceal An Aching Heart

So first, laughter can conceal aching hearts. We see this in the first half of the verse: “Even in laughter the heart may ache.”

In other words, you may see someone laughing, you may see someone that appears to be having a good time – and yet, under the surface, that person may be miserable. Or, to put this in the context of the 21^st century, you might see someone posting pictures on Instagram, about how wonderful her date night was, or how happy her kids are, or how awesome she is at cooking five course meals, or how much progress she’s been making in her exercise routine – it might look like everything is okay. Better than okay, even. But even in the midst of that, her heart might be aching.

I think that many of us have probably come to recognize over the years that this is absolutely true. For one thing, we’ve heard about rich and famous people who appeared to have all kinds of earthly pleasure and happiness, outwardly. But later it’s been made known that, inwardly, were hurting and filled with despair. The hype, the flashing lights, the fun, the excitement – it was just superficial. The laughter concealed an aching heart.

But more than this – you’ve probably experienced an aching heart yourself. And I imagine that you know very well that there have been times that you’ve covered up your pain with a smile, or a joke. Even in laughter, the heart may ache.

But how do we explain this? If people are actually aching, why would they be laughing? Wouldn’t we expect aching people to be moaning or weeping?

Well, yes. We generally would. And many times, aching people do moan or weep. But God understands how the human heart works. And he wants to make sure we recognize that aching people deal with their inner pain in different ways. Some people just try to ignore their aching heart – they might stay busy working to keep their mind off their problems. They may just try to harden and numb themselves so they can’t feel anything. Other aching people might express their pain by lashing out in anger. They might be hyper-critical, maybe even abusive. And then there are other people who seek to deal with their aching heart by trying to laugh it off.

For a lot of people, this simply means that happiness is something they wear like a thin mask, to hide how they really feel. People usually want to conceal their feelings of grief and emptiness because they’re proud. They’re embarrassed to be seen crying in public. They don’t want people to pity them. They desperately want to project to the world that they’re okay. And they believe that if they can just convince everybody else that they’re funny, or that they’re happy, or that they’re having a good life, then maybe, just maybe, they’ll be able to convince themselves, too.

So for some people laughing and pretending to be happy and “okay,” it’s just make-believe. It’s just a thin layer of wallpaper over the rotted wood of an aching heart.

But, there’s another way that people cover up an aching heart. Many people who feel inner aching respond to that pain by giving themselves over to the pursuit of earthly pleasure. So these people aren’t just trying to “fake it ‘til they make it.” They aren’t just pretending to laugh and smile. Because they really do feel a certain sense of pleasure when they’re chasing after thrilling experiences and entertainment.

But the whole reason that they’re so desperate and determined to pursue drugs, video games, money, romance, fancy food, or whatever else is because of their inner pain. They’re constantly jumping from one indulgence to the next, always seeking to extract as much excitement and pleasure from it as they possibly can. They think that amusing themselves will be the painkiller that takes away their inner aching. They don’t know anything greater.

And so the ironic thing is that some of the people who ache the most, and who are the most miserable, may be some of the people who are most often laughing. Because people with inner emptiness and pain will be the most desperate to indulge themselves with pleasure, in any way they can find, whenever they can find it. Though their laughter isn’t fake, at the end of the day it’s still just a cover for a dissatisfied, confused heart.

All pleasure isn’t the same. All forms of joy aren’t equal. Partying and pleasantries can’t take away the achings of the human heart. Laughter is just a band-aid to cover up the wound, but it isn’t the cure the brings healing.

So when it comes to applying this piece of wisdom rightly, here are three things to keep in mind. First, consider your own heart. Whenever you have an aching heart, what are you doing about it? Are you just trying to cover up the pain, and pretend like everything’s okay? Are you trying to distract your heart with little amusements, to alleviate your inner angst? Or are you seeking to lead your heart to deep joy – substantial joy – that’s going to last. Consider your heart.

Second, in light of this text, don’t assume that happy people aren’t miserable. When you’re having a conversation with someone who seems happy and satisfied, and you say, “How are you,” and they say, “Fine” – recognize that there might be something more going on beneath the surface. You might consider asking, “What does fine look like for you?” Or “You’d tell me if you weren’t doing fine, wouldn’t you?” It may open up a conversation with someone who, in reality, is inwardly suffering. And you might have an opportunity to speak to them about the hope you have, to enjoy God’s presence forever, because of what Jesus did for you through his death and resurrection.

But third and finally, when it comes to applying this point, don’t assume that happy people are miserable. If someone tells us that they’re feeling happy, we shouldn’t accuse them of lying, or hiding things from us. Happy people may very well have good reasons to be happy. Believers and unbelievers both are capable of experiencing happiness and pleasure in this life, just like we’re both capable of experiencing discouragement and pain. But the happiness of the unbelieving person – the enemy of God – that happiness won’t last.

Laughter Can Create An Aching Heart

And this brings me to my second point, Laughter can create aching hearts. The second part of this proverb says… “the end of joy may be grief.”

And this is another profound statement. It again reminds us that not all joy is the same. Certain types of joy result in more joy. But other types of joy and pleasure and laughter will result in grief. Not all joy is the same.

When we pursue joy, as an end in itself, it can cause us to despair when we realize that pleasurable experiences are like a vapor. There’s an emptiness to them. They’re here for a moment, and then they’re gone. You may remember, that the wise king Solomon, himself, who wrote the Proverbs – he gave a part of his life to pursuing different types of pleasure, to evaluate what was the most profitable. And in the opening verses of Ecclesiastes 2, Solomon laments that the pursuit of earthly self-indulgence and laughter and pleasure is ultimately empty. If you think that romance, travelling, career advancement, political activism, or watching TV is going to give you the full, happy life you’ve been hungering for, you’ll be sorely disappointed. You’ll feel betrayed by the empty pleasures that promised joy, and gave you nothing. Laughter can create aching hearts.

But there’s another way that pursuing joy can lead to grief. Pursuing joy, without reference to God and His good commands, will lead to guilt and regret. It may be years later – sometimes it’s even just seconds later – you may overwhelmed by the realization that you’ve done something morally wrong.  Maybe you’ve gone too far with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you’ve given yourself over to gluttony or drunkenness. Maybe you’ve said yes when you should have said no. In the moment, you may have felt joy. But now you might be left with a guilty conscience, a pile of debt, a broken family, and a shameful history of turning your back on God. You thought you had found a path to laughter. But all that the laughter did was worsen your problems, rather than making them better.

There are certain pleasures that God tells us to stay away from, not because He’s trying to deprive us of happiness, but because he wants to safeguard it. It’s like a mother telling her toddler, “No, you will not find good food to eat in the trash can. Stay away. Come to the table! Get buckled into your high chair! Yes, you will feel that you are being restrained. But the restraint will promote your health and happiness – not rob you of it.

Many people in the world can’t tell the difference between different types of happiness. They assume that all happiness takes us in the same direction – that all happiness is equally right – that all happiness is equally satisfying. And so they’ll tell you that they approve of whatever you want to do, “As long as it makes you happy.”

But this isn’t the way of God’s wisdom. For as long as we’re pursuing joy as an alternative to pursuing God, as a way of rejecting Him, and running from him, that won’t ever get us anywhere. It’s always going to end in futility and grief. Because no matter how much we try to extract pleasure out of the things of this earth, it won’t leave us with anything real and enduring. It’ll only ever be like trying to squeeze water out of a dry sponge.

But in saying that the end of joy may be grief, this Proverb also acknowledges that the end of joy may not be grief. You and I can experience joy on this earth won’t lead to sorrow and disappointment. And this is how. If the joy you experience on earth directs your heart to a deeper, fuller enjoyment of God – then your earthly joy will bring you into even greater gladness rather than grief.

The Lord Alone Can Comfort An Aching Heart

And this brings me to my third and final point. The Lord Alone Can Comfort Aching Hearts. I’ll be brief here. But I want to make sure that you understand – if you live your life to get laughter, you will have neither laughter, nor God. But if you live your life to get God, you will have both.

God is not opposed to human happiness. Instead, we see indications in Psalm 16, verse 11, and Psalm 37, verse 4, and other places in Scripture – that God himself is the one who will satisfy us, and fulfill the deepest longings of our hearts. God isn’t opposed to our happiness at all.

But God is opposed to our selfishness and our pride and our sin. The sin in our hearts – it claims that we will be better off if we get God and his rules out of the picture. Sin suggests that if we take our future and our happiness into our own hands, the happiness we make on our own will be better than the happiness that comes from the Almighty Creator. And I hope you can understand from this – sin is lying. It is foolishness. But for as long as we’re trusting in the empty promises of sin, we will be suspicious of God. We won’t want to let go of our lusts and self-indulgence.

In the same way that an orphan is not better off than a child who has loving parents to provide for them, we are not better off without God. In fact, to reject God, and his gifts, and his promises is the most foolish and wicked and devastating thing we could ever do to ourselves.

The Lord alone can comfort the aching heart. Whenever you find something satisfying in this life, don’t imagine for a moment, that that thing is the secret to your happiness. Instead, that thing is pointing your attention upward, to recognize that there is a God in heaven. And God, the giver of that good gift, is himself the treasure that brings rest to the restless soul. Let the joys of earth encourage your faith in the God of all joy. Let’s pray: