A Suggested Prayer for Resisting Apathy
O Father,
The heavens above declare your glory,
And the sky above, your handiwork (Psalm 19:1).
You are high above all nations,
Your glory above the heavens (Psalm 113:3).
What is man that you are mindful of him,
And the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:4)
You, O God, are mindful of me,
Yet my mind is not full of you.
You care for me as your son –
But, Father, where is my care for you?
I assent to your greatness in my thoughts
And profess it with my mouth
Yet my heart is dry and barren toward you
Yielding dust instead of life
Infertile and unfruitful
Full of apathy and empty of awe.
I was shaped and fashioned by a master craftsman
You formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13)
By your voice, I exist
By your breath, I have life
All I am
All I have
All I will become
Comes not from me, but from you.
You deserve, O God, my all and my everything
Greatest regard,
Purest reverence,
Highest accolade,
And fiercest allegiance.
But the embers of my love are faint and cold
The coals give little warmth
The sparks yield little light.
How could I, so inglorious and unimpressive,
Be so enthralled with my own ego
So concerned for my own advancement
So captivated by my own emotions
Yet be disaffected by your timeless Divinity
Unmoved by your mercy
And unchanged by your Word?
I confess the wrongness of my heart
Which is blind to your beauty,
Disloyal to your faithfulness,
Wholly indifferent to your holy zeal –
I have spurned goodness.
I have ignored wisdom.
I have denied my need for your mercy.
No reward should be mine
For I have committed the greatest evil
By rejecting the greatest Good.
If my everlasting felicity rested on my fidelity
Eternal misery would be mine
And apathy would give way to agony.
For my heart is frail
My affections have faltered
My devotion has failed many times.
But unending paradise is mine,
For it rests, not on how much I feel,
Not on the stability of my sentiments
Or the steadiness of my passions,
Not on the potency of my longings
Or the permanence of my attraction,
But on the certainty of your steadfast love,
Promised in the Scriptures
Proven at the Cross,
And proclaimed throughout the ages
By unlovely sinners who have a loving God
May my hope rest securely in your love
And nevermore in mine.
